Things That Grow When Left Unattended

(1) My resilient garden: tomatoes, strawberries, raspberries
(2) The persistent warts on my fingers
(3) My to-do list
(4) My credit card debt
(5) My belly

At least raspberries made the list.

So here it is: The last 4 months have sucked balls, but I'm ready for a turn-around. I've been working out regurlary in an effort to crack down on #2 & #5 (I feel so much less stressed when working out regularly, not to mention it's nice to see the inches slide away). I've already begun to notice that clothes are fitting a little better. My posture is improving because I can feel my abs again, so I will count that as a success. I think I may be ready to set up an appointment with a dermatologist to crack down on these warts, because truly, one has been on my pointer finger for over TWO YEARS and I'm sick of attempting to CompoundW that shit off. I believe it has been frozen over 20x and not died, so we may be talking surgery.

But back to the sucking part. If I had to sum it up in a forum that I recognize to be quazi-public (and therefore, I monitor myself), I would say: My boss lied. Big, mega lies. Then he worked to cover his lies. As a result of his lies and his unsuccessful attempt to cover them, he simply eliminate the position that he had promoted me into and this resulted in a loss of income (see item #4). HR was present for all of this, and my name is fully cleared of any wrongdoing; however, this didn't un-do what had been done (eliminating my position). I am now in my original position and he claims publicly that I am a "highly valued employee," but doesn't speak to me in meetings. Much of this seems gender-based, as I notice that he is much more engaged with male employees and trainees. He tends to ask them more direct questions. When he hears responses from multiple sources, he will cite the men before the women.

I had thought that I was out of the woods so far as work-related-interpersonal-stress was considered, and had consequently quit going to yoga months prior to this. In fact, I hadn't been working out much at all and when I look back on it, it's probably because I wasn't very happy. Work was sucking far before any of this went down, and with other life stressors piled on top of it, I was a sad panda.

There have been times that I've considered throwing in the towel & looking for a new sub-field of employment. I really enjoyed corrections & think that maybe that is a group of folks that I could really jive with. But I don't think this is so much about me, as the environment I'm in. And I do really enjoy the clients I see here, so I'm reluctant to leave that.

So here I sit with a long to-do list, some significant motivation to once again cut back on expenses & reduce debt, and a good start on working out. I've been swimming, running, weight lifting, but haven't gone back to yoga. Honestly, my studio is so small that I'm ashamed that my teachers might see how far I've fallen. Basically, I'm ready to rise up in a sort of righteous indignation & be a fuckin' hot bride. I get married in about 12 months & would like to be in a better place (mentally, physically) for that day. So it's time to make it happen.

Also, I would like to buy a puppy. That's probably impulsive...today I looked up golden retriever pups and they're $1,000. But I'm convinced that this would improve my quality of life. I might think on it for a few months.