The Grind

I'm constantly re-learning the fact that office politics at a professional level are not remarkably different from say, the politics of a minimum-wage job. In some ways, it was simpler to work coffee and have adolescent girls stomp around aggressively or pick fights. Professional environments are much more passive, or passive-aggressive. So today I compile a list of my recent insights: S (1) No matter how much an employer claims that they are looking out for their employees, self-preservation trumps all and most people will mount character attacks at others to divert attention from themselves when feeling backed into a corner and unsure of the next move. (2) No matter how nice your physical office environment is, it may not be a comfortable place to work. Despite the remarkable discomfort, productivity should remain stable and consequently it's on you to find a way to tune out the noise in a way that demonstrates that you haven't "checked out." Yoga, meditation, and exercise are good options. Returning to the breath really is a life-saver. (3) Having good co-workers can make even the toughest work environment fun. They may not be able to change anything, but at least you'll have someone to validate that you are not crazy and things happening in this environment are really weird. (4) Nobody is perfect, and no job is perfect. This guy probably has to clean up tourist puke before he goes home to his $1400 a month rental sans electricity. Things always appear more glamorous from the outside.

A Mostly Great Weekend

This weekend we took a mini-vacation that was so awesome it had me dancing like this:


(I was asked to "dance like a white girl").

We met up with a few old friends of my fiance's and went to the shooting range. It was my first experience with an assault rifle and I LOVED it! Shooting can be incredibly therapeutic for me. The loud noise, the smell of gunpowder, the silly displays of masculinity...it adds up to a pretty great experience.



(We "found" some combat calibre armor at the range and tested it with a .556 at 100 yards).

The weekend was really only soiled at the very end, when we happened upon food poisoning (presumably at a BBQ we attended). That took us out of the game for 2 days while we thanked our decision to get a home with 2 bathrooms & napped in between episodes vomiting through the nose (and equally terrible unmentionables).

It was still worth it. I got to meet some of my fiance's high school friends, and they are great. I feel very at home with them (the inappropriate humor, cursing like sailors, etc.,) and we had a lot of fun together. Of note, I pulled out a pretty positive showing during Halo: Reach & proudly represented girl gamers for the boys.

The part that I am feeling most regretful about is that I haven't been able to do Ashtanga this week. I was sick for 2 days of practice, terribly dehydrated for 1, and will miss practice today, as well. We'll be with friends all weekend, so I will miss weekend practice, as well. Last week I was proclaiming my love of 3+ days of consecutive practice to my fiance...my body felt great and my mind felt clear. I'm hoping that I will be able to jump back in next week.

Have I mentioned how great it feels to not be so worried about work....?

Prasarita Padottanasana

AKA, "Wide legged forward bend." I did it!! After only 3 months of practicing Ashtanga, I can rest my head on the ground while in forward bend!! Instead of dangling from the hip, I now look a little more like this:



I say "a little more," because in truth my legs are a bit wider as I am still working toward stretching/lengthening my hamstrings. This is a great exercise for me because I sit a lot at my job--this leads to tight hamstrings that tug on my lower back and cause lower back pain. Only a year ago I was getting weekly medical massage to manage the pain (which is now, for the most part, gone!!!) So now I get to work toward bringing my legs in just a wee bit and remembering to engage my quads by lifting the kneecap. I love how many muscle groups are involved in every Ashtanga pose.

As a second success, I also got into a headstand. I did create a "safety net" in class by doing it with a wall behind me, but I was able to stay in for >10 breaths, so I felt good about that.

The first time headstand was introduced to me, I was told to "create a tripod and walk into downward dog; get used to the weight being on your head." This explanation was really unhelpful for me. I placed the weight on my head and felt overwhelmed by it, then never lifted my feet. The second time it was introduced to me, I was told, "Create a tripod that is rooted to the ground. Your body lifts up through your arms, and it is there that your weight is supported. There should be very little weight on your head." It made sense. Engage the arms and back to support the body. Really, I only needed to focus my mind on this:



Rather than freaking myself out over this:



This was Part 1 of my mental shift toward this pose. Part 2 was a woman who was 5 months pregnant who gracefully lifted herself into a headstand. I sat and thought, "okay. If a woman with that sort of natural imbalance can balance her body on her head, so can I." I see more and more that in yoga, it is true that you can only do what you tell your mind you can do.

Part of the reason that I began this practice was to see what would happen if I invested my energies in what I hoped would be "preventative" care. Yoga has saved my back!! I always rolled my eyes at people who would say things like, "yoga can change your life." But it is true. Yoga can change your life. Here's to avoiding medical massage to treat too many hours in a chair.

Why Ashtanga Is The Coolest Thing Ever.

A few months ago I was stressing. I had hit a wall: I've been working toward a goal for my entire life, and have finally arrived at said goal. I had nothing to study for in the evenings. My work days actually ended at 4:30 and I wasn't expected or required to stay late. I found myself sitting around and ruminating about whether I would be promoted. I looked for volunteer opportunities. I looked for social groups and community activities. Then I decided that my strategy was all wrong. Rather than filling my life with meaningful and meaningless crap, I needed to slow my mind and body down and work on being more present-focused.

My college years, and some of my grad school years, are a blur. I finished both college & grad school (4+ year programs) in 3.5 years. I worked to keep my debt down and I volunteered to make myself more attractive to future employers. It was all great, but frantic.

So I signed myself up for Ashtanga yoga. I did it to supplement a running schedule initially--Kat and I had planned for a few races (5k, 8k) in the Spring and I wanted to be strong, more flexible, and maybe...just maybe...a little calmer.

Also, I wanted to do this:
Or maybe even this:
Kat had invited me to join she and her husband in Kauai again this summer, so I was also thinking of how amazing it would be to pull out some sweet moves on the beach. In my mind, it looked like this:

I went to my first class very ready to bust a move. We did this:
I remembered that I had already paid my $150 for this intro class, so I hid my disappointment at having "only" learned vinyasa breathing on day 1, and continued to come week after week. Pretty soon I could jump into plank. I felt my core getting a little stronger. Pat started telling me that I was getting "yoga belly." My work clothes were more comfortable. Best of all, I felt a little calmer. I was excited to go to class. I paid good money for a sweet yoga mat. I signed up for unlimited classes for the next 2 months. By the end of intro, I could do this:
And thankful for a back that is bendy in both directions, I also did this with some ease:
I actually looked forward to finishing series of our practice, because the stretchy inversions feel just dang nice. This is similar to the last one, and also a favorite:
So I have developed some awareness of my body, and some patience for what it can (and can't) do. I have accepted that many people take anywhere from 2-5 years to get through Ashtanga Primary Series 1. I have accepted that it might take me more time than that to do the final move in Primary Series, in which you "uproot the lotus."
I can't even get my legs into lotus yet, much yet uproot my entire rear end. This might take a while. But I'm willing to keep going and see how far I get. I recognize that I've found a new goal that borders on obsession, and this has at times been my "problem." But this is a goal that can also serve as the "solution." When I come home from my yoga shala I feel rejuvinated. And that is why Ashtanga Vinyasa yoga is the coolest thing ever.