Money Management Part Deux

Just over a month ago I wrote about "the coffee crazy" (this insane habit I had of purchasing at least one coffee Every. Single. Day). I had extended my frugal ways with coffee to cover not eating out quite so often, and not shopping for clothes quite so much. I had imagined that my savings would look a bit like this:



It was hard to believe that anything less than total deprivation would lead to any meaningful sort of savings. As evidenced by my last blog (adorable vacation wear), I obviously did not deprive myself. I bought some great clothes, Valentines Day gifts for the significant other, and we went out to eat a few times. But I made some big and little changes: No more eating lunch out, no wine or dessert when we were out, and I questioned carefully every clothing purchase.

I discovered that saving on this level ended up with more of this effect:



It is hard to quantify this in a blog where I don't want to disclose my (a) income, or (b) savings. But imagine a healthy income--and imagine that I previously had been saving about 15% of it per month. Now I'm saving about 40%.

I looked at this money saved in one month and had a huge wave of relief wash over me. I can live the way that I wanted to live when I set out to get a doctorate. I can travel, I can shop, I can eventually own a new car and a new home, and I can do it all without going into huge amounts of debt. It is a very liberating feeling, and it all started with depriving Starbucks of a few of my hard-earned dollars each month.

The best thing about this is that I knew it all along but needed to experience it. Every financial magazine in the world tells you some version of this (in a nutshell: Quit pissing away your money on food and entertainment). But previously I've been hanging out in the Contemplation stage of change.

(For those not familiar--Prochaska & Diclemente developed a model of change in which after studying how it was that persons with addiction gave up their habits--it goes like this:)

Precontemplation(Not yet acknowledging that there is a problem behavior)
Contemplation (Acknowledging that there is a problem but not yet ready change)
Preparation (Getting ready to change)
Action (Changing behavior)
Maintenance (Maintaining the behavior change) and
Relapse (Returning to older behaviors and abandoning the new changes)

Here's hoping for NO RELAPSE!

Dresses: The Reality

So...sad news on my dress-buying activity. Remember the dresses I posted not so long ago? The ones that led me to boast about my deal-finding abilities? They all sucked. I sent all of them back save one, which had a "no return" rule on it. I will attempt to have it tailored.

The others were complete failures for a variety of reasons. The most hilarious being the presence of a "death star crevace" in the way the fabric fell down my rear end. (So deemed by my boyfriend). It was bad.

So...I spent a few weekends actually trying on merchandise and this is what I came up with:


A romantic mid-calf rose-print dress:
(I have a long locket in the mail from Etsy to pair with this)



A tube dress to wear over my new bikini when we go sailing out to a snorkeling site:



And a bohemian dress that will look incredible with a brown belt and some gladiator sandals:



I rounded things out with a cute boho skirt that looks great paired with a little gray tank top (thanks to yoga my abs are looking good enough that it will look great paired with a bikini top):



Finally, a new bikini (because lets face it, you're in one every day in Hawaii so taking at least 3 is necessary...)



Remind me not to shop online. Even when ordering shoes I send 80% of what I order back.

Everything Just Is.

I've thought about updating this for a week. I don't want to drop the ball on my blog in the way that I previously have. I have all sorts of things swirling around in my head, but no thoughts that will remain stationary long enough for me to grasp onto them.

My work has been partially to "blame" for this. My patients are intelligent and insightful. Some are developmentally young, and some are wise beyond their years. This week I've worked hard at remaining present--just allowing myself to be at work--physically, mentally, and I suppose spiritually.

Sometimes the work of a psychologist involves gracefully navigating office politics. That is the work I don't always love. But sometimes the work of a psychologist is being there for another human being who is at the cusp of a major self-discovery, or for someone who is so overcome with anguish and heartache that they can hardly hold themselves upright. I've seen both extremes this week, and it is impossible to not be touched by them.

I fluctuate between being caught up in the every day grind (read: office politics) and trying to bring myself back to this place where everything just is. Physical activity is the easiest place for me to practice this. I feel a twinge of pain in my side and keep going. Sometimes I have to remind myself to not assign anything to this experience ("You're so out of shape, how did you ever stop running? 2 miles shouldn't hurt like this") and let it just be. My side hurts, my feet keep moving, the music keeps playing, my breath keeps flowing and everything just is.

The world can be both unpredictable and predictable, people can be good and bad, love can be thrilling and terrifying, loss can be gut wrenching and cleansing. All we can really do is gradually learn to accept what is.

The last year of my 20's.

Last week started out terribly. I avoided griping about it (at least, here...perhaps not to my friends & family) because everything that happened was pretty insignificant. But it turned around and ended up being a great week.

I'm going to be verbose from this point forward, so if you'd like the cliffnotes, here you are:

-Birthday full of love
-Office pinic surprise from boyfriend
-Easy fix to a laptop I thought would cost a fortune
-Mild week at the office

And for everyone else, read on!

I celebrated my birthday last week! I'm welcoming the last year of my 20's with arms wide. Aging has been really put into perspective by seeing my grandmother turn 80 and talk about feeling young...aside from "not being able to do quite so much (physically)." I'm not really dreading my 30's in the way that many people do. Some of this might have to do with my work: Several times this year parents and faculty have said to me, "You don't look old enough to be a doctor." When I told my grandmother this she recommended that I get glasses. I told her that 10 years would take care of this "problem."

My birthday was a slow one at work. Pat treated me to one of my favorite dinners (I'm easy to buy for--I wanted veggie pizza) and then took me to a place we've never been to in Spokane (Wild Sage). It was wonderful!!

We both had the huckleberry strudle and fell into bed with sugar comas shortly thereafter. They had a beautiful and tasty drink that used lavander-infused vodka (I've never had a drink with lavander-infused vodka that I didn't like). The atmosphere was beautiful and our waiter was handsome, not tattooed, didn't have acne, was over 30, and was plesant. Perhaps these all seem like strange evaluative statements to make about waitstaff, but we have found since living in Spokane that many wait staffers leave a lot to be desired.


I opened cards and gifts from family and friends, and went to work the next day with my boyfriend's promise of "a surprise lunch." I figured that we were going to try a new resturant close to campus, so I finished on time with my client and turned around to grab my coat just in time to see him standing in the door with a picnic basket. I had been sad that picnic season is so far out--Spokane has great parks and I can hardly wait to explore them and take a basket full of fruit and baguettes and cheese...now I don't have to.

Later in the day he took my laptop to a local shop for diagnostics. Best Buy had glanced at it and said that it would probably cost $300 and something terrible was going on. The local guys sold us a new power cord--problem solved. I was so happy!! The only place worse than a mechanic for a woman to go and get screwed over is a computer store. I get caught like a deer in headlights and because of this have bought 3--yes THREE--new computers in the past decade after seeing a blue screen of death. It goes something like--"Sorry, Miss, but this computer is going to cost more to fix than it would be to buy a new one." And then me--"Oh mister computer man, thank you for delivering this terrible news to me with a trustworthy smile. Please show me to the sales department." I will not be fooled again!!

For my first "while I'm 29" project I contacted a financial advisor to consult about student loan debt. I set a budget that I feel good about and found out that in the world of finance I am doing A-okay.

My friend Sharon has a blog all about being 29 and the changes that she plans to make. Friends made promises to her "before Sharon turns 30 I will....x, y, z" and now she has a year full of adventures planned. I love this idea and hope to write a before-30 "bucket list" of sorts. It will need to have things other than "get my shit together financially, eat organic, be active, score a promotion," etc. I would like to return to having fun and being playful. I remember that those things came naturally before grad school, and I want them back.

What I can say about my 20's thus far is this: I became a Doctor. My heart was shattered, and then I met the love of my life. I made friends who moved all over the world and are still close to my heart. I learned that I am strong and independent, and that I can make a home anywhere. I learned that I can be (and am) a runner and a yogi.

The "before 30 bucket list" is soon to come!

A Beautiful Dress. Or Four.

I understand that this blog on the tail of my last one (you know, with the whole bit about being frugal) may seem to drip with hypocroisy. But the truth is, that it all ties in. With the money I saved on coffee in one month, I bought 4 dresses that will soon be keeping me comfortable, cool, and classy on a beach in Kauai.

Behold:



(#1) A beautiful black (yes, the image is decieving) halter dress from White House Black Market. Perfect for slipping on over a bikini on the way to and from an afternoon of snorkeling on ke'e beach. Can easily transition into lunch out by simply stripping away said bikini top, tousling hair, and throwing in a flower. Beautiful. I love it.



(#2) More beautiful beachwear. Casual enough to throw on over swimwear, or to wear at the resort resturant with a pair of dressed up flip-flops and a cool necklace. This one is American Eagle.



(#3) Another American Eagle dress. This one will not see the inside of a resturant unless we are going to a fish taco or shave ice stand. But it will dry quickly and the empire waist tie is going to be really flattering.




(#4) WHBM red halter dress. I'm thinking appropriate evening wear when paired with heels & gold bangles.



There are very few things that I go as crazy for when shopping as a good summer dress. I love looking in the off-season because I manage to hook things for great prices, and then I get to take it easy and browse as the summer draws near...no frantic searching for the "perfect" vacation dress! Only 6 months 'till vacation!!

Money Managment and the Coffee Crazy

My student loans are coming due in February. Eek! Every graduate student knows that this moment will come...and in some ways it is a relief. I won't have to dread it any more.

Prior to this loan repayment business I've been squirrling away money for yet another trip to Hawaii (July--woot!), shopping for more "grown up" professional clothes (possibly, blogs to follow on this adventure), and investing in my health in a preventative way. By this I mean purchasing primarily organic produce and meats, paying for gym and yoga studio memberships, and in general just investing in my body.

The truth is, though, that my student loan debt is the only debt I've had in my life. I paid for my undergrad--which was private--by working my ass off (30ish hours a week) and finishing a semester early. I'm from a family in which debt is unacceptable. I've never held a credit card balance for more than 2 months.

This business of "unacceptable" debt isn't a bad thing, it has kept my head in a responsible place. I've made good decisions. But it has the capacity for making me a little crazy.

Background: My great-grandmother was from Germany and had a general mistrust of the government and banks. She hid hundred dollar bills in her house--you could find them under couch cushions, between the mattresses, etc. My grandmother had a similar frugal attitude due to her experience of having nothing during the Great Depression. My mother is incredibly frugal and thrifty as a result of her upbringing and caring for a family ranging from 4-7 on one income.

And me? I occasionally get into a place where--often for no apparent reason--I begin a manic evaluation of every item in my home to decide what I might be able to sell on Craigslist. Anything can tip me in this direction...maybe hearing a financial piece on NPR, maybe hearing a friend talk about their difficulties with debt, maybe spending "too much" on a cardigan I've been coveting for months. Once I am in this place, I am not rational. My boyfriend jokes that during these times we need to "bolt the cat down," or make him (the cat) work the corner for his kibble.

My psychologist hat goes on for this issue, and I think, "How can I make sustainable change? How can I set goals for myself that are realistic, timely, and managable?" The answer for here/now......? The coffee culprit!!!



I spend at least $2.00 a day on coffee. At least. That is if I purchase one drip coffee per day. I often purchase two. On weekends, my boyfriend and I go out for a latte as our "special treat." Those range in cost from $4 - $6. If I ONLY drank one $2 coffee daily, this would come out to an expense of $730 per year. That number is conservative. I often purchase my boyfriend's coffee for him, or double up on drip on "hard days" at work. I would estimate that I spend in the range of $1,000 - $1,500 a year on coffee.

Before you get all judgy, I must explain...I have an emotional attachment, and possibly psychological & physical addiction, to coffee. I have been drinking it since I was 5 or so. I would sneak into the lap of adults at the card table and take sips of coffee while I learned pinnochile. This led me to be a card shark at a young age, and later, a neurotic adult with a love of coffee. As a teen I would pour a cup and chat with adults because it made me feel more grown up. As a college student I got a job in a coffeeshop to cut my expense. During my shift I got a free drink (QUAD Americano, Yeah!!) and any other time it was 1/2 price.

For Christmas I asked for a thermos to nip this in the bud. I am happy to report that I am on month 2 of not having purchased a single coffee on my own dime. I purchase drip & make it every morning. For Christmas my boyfriend & I recieved Starbucks gift cards that were >$60 in value, so we've been using those for our "special" treats on weekends.

On another front, I think that yoga has chilled out my autonomic nervous system and that my tolerance for caffeine is slipping. If I drink too much I can't sleep. This is new for me and I'm cool with it.

Just like any other task taken on, I believe that I'm at the point where this has become habitual. The savings might not seem monumental, but when you add them on to things like, oh, we are also no longer eating lunches out during the week (we literally ate out every. single. day...) it really adds up.

All in all, this is a pretty monumental success on both financial and presonal levels. I think my mom and grandma would be proud. Also, I think it is better than trying to sell the cat on craigslist.

The Strength of an Elephant

Last night I hated yoga. I tipped, I trembled, I clenched my jaw, I lost my breath, I soaked my mat with sweat. All that I could think of was the final pose, when my torment would be over. My instructor noticed and asked how I was doing on the way out.

There were so many things I could've said (a line of excuses: "I was sick all week, I took a week off, I had wine every single evening for the last week while sick and not working out, I ate too much for lunch.") Instead, I told her that I felt like an elephant doing yoga. She smiled and told me that is a good thing: Elephants are referenced in the yoga sutras for their strength, balance, and grace.

Today I looked at the yoga sutras and found this:

Sutra III.24

By Practicing Samyama On (Physical) Strength, The Strength Of Elephants Can Be Acquired.



I am thankful for her reframe, and tonight I will return to class with a mindset that my trembling and sweating is weakness leaving my body to make space for the srength of an elephant.