Turning 30

This month I turn 30. Three of my greatest friends plan to come to town to help me celebrate, and I'm pretty stinking excited about it. I have wanted to be over 30 since I was about 15. I viewed it as this age at which point I would magically overcome my childhood insecurities, no longer develop pimples, and be revered by children and adults alike as a genuine adult. So basically, I believed (and still, do, to some extent) that I would be more confident and better looking. In my defense, historically BOTH of these things have tended to be true for all women in my family. Like fine wine, we age well. Thank God for great genes.

Last year I wrote a blog in which I indicated a plan to post a list of things I hoped to do before turning 30. This never happened. If I had to identify one reason (more than laziness...) it would simply be: Fear.

I feared writing a list and not accomplishing everything on it. As someone who hates to let myself down, I decided that I would rather not write a list and feel like I had come out ahead. Needless to say, I don't feel that I've come out ahead. Although I accomplished many things on the "list" despite never writing it, I feel that fear won out. I like this quote that I found recently: "The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed --Lloyd Jones" (...I don't like the weighting of humans as better or worse, but I like the message...)

So in addition to being better looking and more confident, I am counting on using turning 30 as a milestone for conquering, or at least--better managing--fear. As someone who has always adored quotes and poems, I've chosen the following to serve as my guiding light:



I know that I won't be able to obliterate fear. But some of the MOST rewarding things that I've done in my life have been the things I've feared the most. Also, I've seen in clients, friends, and family, the consequences of avoiding anything that scares them. In sum, I would describe the major consequence as a life unlived.

So here is my list. I will likely blog about these things throughout the year (as well as the reasons they scare me--there are reasons for each of them). I make no promises to hit them all, because honestly, I have a full-time job and like to use this blog for whatever the hell I want. But here is the list:

Take a financial planning class
Run an 8k
Take a class through parks and rec
Take a class through the community college
Go to a cooking class
Try acupuncture
Get glasses
Lose 10 lbs
Fly to Georgia
Start snowboarding again
Befriend "N-RAD"
Get a part-time assessment gig lined up
Publish the dissertation
Finance a car
Purchase a wedding dress
Put money down on a wedding venue
Join a book club
Go hiking with total strangers
See a live concert (The Frames? Pink Martini?)
Aim for 1 active lunch per week

What do I hope to get out of this, aside from the obvious? Well, more confidence. And honestly, just NOT letting fear get the best of me will be pretty dang rewarding.



In other news, I totally hope that I get a cake, or a cupcake, or at least a balloon with the number "30" in huge print. I still get carded all the time and people on campus constantly mistake me for a student on casual Friday, so I have ZERO insecurities around this number. Bring it, 30!!